Ambivalence and apathy in the workplace are not uncommon, and much to your employer’s dismay lead to a substantially less productive environment. If you’ve got the doldrums, try these five tips:

Get a Good Night’s Rest. Sleep matters. According to msnbc.com people who slept less than six hours experienced an increased body mass index (height-to-weight ratio) more than those who slept seven to eight hours.

Eat Healthy. The average person gains a whopping 7-12 pounds. According to the ADA, you’re one step ahead if you eat six small meals a day, unless when you do you’re gorging on your favorite fast food restaurant’s value meal. Be selective in what you eat and do so only when you are truly hungry.

Exercise. Simple equation: if you burn more calories than you eat, you’ll lose weight. Healthy weight loss is 1-2 pounds per week. To lose 1 pound per week you need to create a calorie deficit (burn more than you eat) of 500 calories per day. Certainly achieve with even moderate aerobic exercise.

Drink Water. The best fluid you can have. You may mistake hunger for thirst as your body gives out the same want for water as it does for food. Drinking water doesn’t offer you sugar or carbonation but, it does satisfy your hunger.

Laugh More. The heart beats faster, it tightens sagging stomach muscles and can bolster the immune system, helping to fight off infections like coughs and colds. Studies show an hour of laughter burns approximately 100 calories, equating to a half hour of weightlifting or vacuuming for three quarters of an hour. Both equivalent to a small bag of chips, or small bar of chocolate.

I thought Father’s Day weekend was a great time to jump back into this blog thing. For me it’s a great time for reflection and introspection. So many great things have been happening lately and it really occurred to me how much I miss my dad. I vacillate between the joy and accomplishments of my beautiful daughters and the lack of opportunity to share them with my dad. A Father’s day conundrum.

My oldest daughter Ashley got married last month and while as the saying goes “you didn’t lose a daughter, you gained a son”, I somehow felt my little girl slipping through my fingers. “She will always be daddy’s little girl” wasn’t working really well for me either. I quietly struggled with the admission that she had grown up and that she was more than ready to carve out a new life of her own filled with joy, happiness and success.

I had to come to grips that being a dad now meant that my role, should there ever be a need for sage old advice or comfort for any heartache was to just offer a sympathetic ear or a selection of profound wisdom when called upon. I got that, but I couldn’t let go of a quote that I read years ago. I never could find the author who was attributed with saying it, but he simply said “a daughter may outgrow your lap, but she will never outgrow your heart”.

I come from a family where the men often had a difficult time holding their tears in. My grandfather cried. My dad cried. Not just at funerals or somber occasions, but at sad movies, winning touchdowns, overtime, and little kids birthday parties. . I cry at spilled milk, which really is pretty funny because I’m lactose intolerant.

I missed my dad as I walked my princess down the aisle. I wanted to cry and share with him in all of the bittersweet moments, but of course, I couldn’t. And for some strange reason I couldn’t cry.

That is not to suggest for one moment that I was not overcome with emotion, because of course I was. It was one of the most memorable and happiest days of my life. I had just made some bizarre fundamental commitment that I was going to hold my emotions in check. My kids wondered what was wrong. Why wasn’t dad crying?

Maybe a higher power was at work. A hand on my shoulder letting me know that I needed to be strong for the both of us. No meltdowns allowed.

I missed my dad him when my younger daughter Alexa took third place with her solo in a regional dance competition, performing it for only the second time on stage. She was awesome. I never saw her dance like that before. Her stage presence, her emotion, her technique was incredible.

I looked at my wife who was wiping away tears. I looked at Ashley whose tears were flowing the minute Alexa walked out on stage. I was stoic. Just didn’t cry. Maybe my father was there with me once again with his calming hand on my shoulder sharing in the great deal of pride we both felt.

With each movement I was memorized. This was my kid on stage. Commanding the attention of the audience and the judges who were going to critique her performance. I got goose bumps. I could feel my pride bubbling over, but I refused to cry.

Why couldn’t my dad be there to see this? He would have loved to watch her performance.

Some may say that Father’s Day like Mother’s Day, Valentines and Sweetest Days are Hallmark holidays and for some that may be true. But for some like me, it is a great day to ponder days of past present and future.

Yes, I really do miss my dad. I miss sharing and laughing. I miss ball games and bowling. I even miss lectures and an occasional spanking. But this weekend, I’m going to celebrate the memories we shared. I’m going to commit myself to laughing and maybe sharing a tear or two.

As far as my own two precious daughters, I am going to revel in their successes. I’m going to gloat, celebrate and shout out my enthusiasm about their victories, and I don’t care if I embarrass them. I know in time they will forgive me.

Since I hope you all have an awesome Father’s day weekend. Let me help you to solve the Father’s day conundrum. First remember that a great dad fills his wallet with pictures where the money used to be.

Secondly, take the time to remember what you valued most about your father and celebrate the days of joy and memories. Grab your kids and give them a big hug and kiss and tell them how proud you are of what they have made out of their lives and that being their dad is one of the greatest joys in your life. It’s even okay to shed a few tears.

Thank you dad for teaching me what it means to be a great father, Happy Father’s Day dad.

The wonderful thing about discovering what you’re passionate about is that you can jump in with both feet, become overcome with that passion, and all the while have little time to deal with the trivial things that used to make up your monotonous days.

As most of you know, last year after thirty years in the mortgage industry, I decided that I just didn’t want to do it anymore (I am still happy to help friends, relatives and the numerous past clients of mine who I came to love doing business with). I had headed up small companies and I led larger corporations. I tried out my entrepreneurial hat, and I was even elected by the governor to serve on Michigan’s inaugural Mortgage Industry Advisory Board.

And I got bored.

It’s not that I didn’t enjoy the mortgage industry; I just wasn’t passionate about it anymore. Too many changes and less for the good, than you as a consumer might suspect. We were all guilty. Lenders, Brokers, Wall Street, even the consumer played an integral part in its demise.

I was fifty three and working thirty years in an industry that no longer inspired me.

More than half of my working career was now over. While I give you that I made a good living which allowed me to sustain the quality of life that I wanted for my wife and girls (and I give you that is instrumental for me), I became selfishly unhappy.

Yea, I know “Happy wife, happy life”. But what if dad’s not happy? Are dads entitled to not be happy?

I loved everything about my life, except work. Why? Because it was work, a job I went to every day. I had gotten to the point where my career defined who I was.

I struggled with it and a tough couple of years ensued.

And then I realized, I didn’t have to be miserable. Being miserable was a choice I had made and I had what I had because, in truth, it’s what I wanted. And then, well, here’s a thought, I didn’t want it anymore.

However what was it that I wanted to do?

What was I passionate about? What did I possess the talent to do?

As a business coach I understand that there are two things you can’t coach. You can’t coach true passion (you are either passionate about something or you’re not) and you can’t coach a lack of talent (you can certainly coach up talent, you just can’t coach up a lack of talent for something).

I needed to uncover what it was that I was passionate about, because without being modest, I knew that I had the talent to do whatever I set my mind to do. What excited me? What couldn’t I wait to get involved in? What made me smile and feel fulfilled?

Whole Foods Markets were started by twenty-five year old college dropout John Mackey and twenty-one year old Rene Lawson Hardy, natural food connoisseurs who saved and borrowed money from family and friends to open their first store.

Apple computer was started by a “geek” in his garage, who prided himself on his electronic hacking ability. PCs Limited was the initial operations of Michael Dell run from his dorm room, until he decided to drop out of college to run his company full time.

In 1971, English teacher Jerry Baldwin, history teacher Zev Siegel, and writer Gordon Bowker invested $1,350 of their own money to open a store initially known as called Starbucks Coffee, Tea, and Spice.

Talent agents once described Fred Astaire by saying “Can’t act, can’t sing, balding… Can dance a little” and Clark Gable with “What can you do with a guy with ears like that?”

So what was it for me?

If you have followed my blog from the beginning, you know where the title of the blog “Ramblings of the Bruce” came from. Well I decided, it was time for a new identity. I was going to take ownership of “The Bruce”.

Sure it was still going to be exciting in my new role as the Chief Marketing Officer at Main Street (the bank that bought my mortgage company), but I was going for branding. I wanted to accomplish something much bigger. I got hungry. I was going to fuel the fire brewing in my gut.

It was time that “The Bruce” was destined for greatness.

So who or what did I re-invent?

• I became a blogger and a Facebook philosopher who you found here (or maybe I found you).

• I became an author currently working on re-editing my first publication “It’s a Great Deal, All Three of Me Think So”.

• I became a contributing author to the Detroit News and Free Press.

• I perfected what I had learned coaching others and became a partner in Business Edge, an internationally recognized Executive Coaching Firm.

• I formed a partnership in a new and exciting entertainment firm entitled D’ City Sound.

• I got my mug in national publications.

You see my passion, aside from often talking too much, is helping others. I love to see people smiling and having a great time.

I love to help others see things that they might have never seen before.

I love the look in their eyes when they arrive at a solution or an answer and you can just see their whole lives unlocking behind their eyelids.

I love it when they smack their foreheads with the palm of their hands, as if to say “Was it really that obvious?”

For the first time in a long time I’m having the time of my life, and I am passionate about what I am doing.

Do you love what you do?

I mean are you really passionate about what it is that you do?

If you are and you do, it’s awesome, rewarding and fulfilling all at the same time. If you are not, take a step back and look at your business life. Look at it from the outside looking in and not how you have looked at it over the last ten or twenty years.

I say “Happy Dad, glad dad” too.

Or as George Burns once so eloquently said “I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate”.

Being passionate means not only discovering what you want to do more than anything, but resisting the urge to never attempt or quit because the challenge appears too great.

I’m going to take what some may see as a rather complex plan and make it simple. I’m going to limit myself to improving three areas of my life.

• Laugh a little more
• Love a little more
• Live a little more

For those of you who have been following my blog or read my book, you know that my favorite quote is by Robin Williams who once quipped “You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.”

No, I am not saying that I’m going to be laughing more at you particularly (well, maybe some of you), but more specifically about myself and life in general. I’ve found that at times I have lost track of the fact that I can’t control what others say or do, but that I do have control over how I react.

Lawrence Welk, clearly known for his hilarity once said “There are good days and there are bad days and this is one of them.

Nothing personal, but I’m not going to let you get me angry or frustrated anymore. It started out as an awesome day and I’m going to make damn sure it ends as one. If your being a moron or an idiot, congratulations on that. I wish you well on your behavior and I hope for your sake you get that burger made your way.

From now on I’m going to be the next guy in line thinking life is too short.

I went to a Lions game this past week and stood in a long line in the restroom. A man in line behind me decided he didn’t want to wait and relieved himself in the sink. I just stood there shaking my head with a what an idiot look on my face, when the gentleman behind me started yelling at him. He was shocked that I didn’t join in on his tirade.

The truth was what exactly was I going to say to someone who relieves himself in a sink that was going to alter his behavior? He’s an idiot, I got it. I laughed my way back to my seat.

Funny how much easier life is when you realize that it is much easier to laugh at it rather than tangle with it.

As much as I love to laugh, the past year had its moments of tragedy and loss for me as well. I bid farewell to some that I thought would be here much longer. I know I have blogged before about seizing the day, but like all of us we tend to get caught up in the minutia.

Well, I’m done with minutia. The heck with all of you people and you’re whining and complaining about inconsequential stuff. Tell it to someone who cares, because I really don’t care if you didn’t get extra pickles. Step aside because someone that is important to me is waiting for me.

Life is not about no onions or extra dressing. Life is about sharing your time and energy with the people you treasure most. It’s about making sure they know how you feel. It’s about saying “I love you’ or “I am so proud of you”. It’s about saying to your partner “thank you for sharing your life with me” or to your kids “I’m honored to be your dad”.

I know you have heard it thousands of times before, but life really is to short and you just can’t get back the people or days you lost. I’m going to fill my cup with the things I am committed to saying to the people I love and care about this year.

In the words of actor James Earl Jones “One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can’t utter”.

In 2011 my oldest daughter is getting married. I couldn’t be happier. She’s going to begin a new chapter in her life. If she were to ask me I would tell her simply to live each day as if it were her last. No, it’s not my intention to be morbid, but it is my new found commitment for this year.

I got caught a few times last year existing rather than living. It’s kind of funny when you coach others for a living and you trip and fall on the same floor you’re coaching on. The minutia tripped me up and on an occasion or two I lost my passion. I lost track of my priorities and let my emotions drive reaction rather than taking action.

Well, I’m back. For some of you that might be a little scary or frightening, but I’m going to make 2011 one of the best years of my life.

There is a quote which has appeared many times and in many places attributed to numerous authors which simply says “Life is not a journey to the grave with the intentions of arriving safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming…What a ride!”

It is an awesome quote but I will just simplify it with what another renowned comic, Johnny Depp said “I think the thing to do is enjoy the ride while you’re on it”.

A new year is a fresh start. I’m going to laugh a little more, love a little more and live a little more. How about you?

Let me take a brief moment before we get to heavy to draw my distinction between reacting and acting.

Reacting is not a process. It is what some would call an involuntary response. It is the response we exude driven solely on how we perceive life. Something happens, we react. For some who get screamed at, they scream back. For others they may find it funny and yet others may be frightened and cowl. No voluntary thought process involved what so ever.

Acting involves the process of actually thinking. We provide ourselves with a ten second rule to organize our thoughts, digest the positives and negatives of our response to all parties involved and deliver our calculated response in a systematic manner.

So now you know. You are a Reactionist and not Democratic or Republican like you thought.

I believe that every day begins as an awesome day. Being here, being present with good health and the ability to pursue happiness and wealth (However you may choose to define it) are all that we can ask for. When our feet hit the floor for the first time every morning, it becomes the launching pad for the day’s events.

Then the inevitable happens. The dog did a number on the carpet and the kids over slept their alarms for school. There is no milk for the cereal and why does it always happen that you break a shoelace when you are late out the door?

Because life happens. If you are thinking that your day just turned into what you just cleaned up from your dog, shame on you. Remember life is about choices. You can choose to react angrily about what has happened so far in your early morning and consciously decide that they are all tell tale signs of what is destined to be a miserable day, or you can make the choice to decide that these are all things that just happened. They are insignificant and meaningless and go on with your awesome day.

That is the beauty of having the freedom of choice.

So you are at the office and you get a phone call. The person on the other end of the line is agitated and starts yelling at you, and of course their hostility has everything to do with you. It’s a personal attack on your character, ethics and credibility. You can feel the hair on the back of your neck stand up and finally you lose it.

Who can yell longer or louder? Who can burst a vein in the middle of their forehead first? Or probably most important in any who can out do the other phone conversation, who can slam the phone down in the other one’s ear first.

If you’re chuckling, good for you. Pretty silly huh?

My question is this “At what point in the conversation did you realize that this person was out of control, behaving like an immature child, and without being offensive, a moron?” Or maybe the better question is that if you realized all of that early on and you allowed yourself to become that destructive, exactly what does that make you?

Guess it was your choice again huh?

Did that moron just ruin your awesome day or for you is it still an awesome day that just got sidetracked for a few brief moments?

There is that freedom of choice thing again.

The funny thing about life is that it is what we make it, far more than what others make of it. For the most part, we choose when to be happy or sad. We decide to be angry and frustrated or acknowledging and accommodating. I am sure you have heard it before, life is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Robert F. Bennett once said “Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both consciously and unconsciously. If you can control the process of choosing, you can take control of all aspects of your life. You can find the freedom that comes from being in charge of yourself.”

Now for me, that’s pretty deep and for those of you who know me quite well, you know that I am all about finding the fun in life. So given that lets try Mae West’s infamous quote “When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I’ve never tried before.”

Since we have all become so inherently ordained to reacting rather than acting, lets choose the road less traveled. Life really doesn’t have to be as difficult and challenging as we sometimes choose to make it. As we have said, it is what we make it.

After a long and tiresome day (only after our hero deemed it to be) an executive calls home. His wife inquires if he wants dinner. The executive inquires “What are my choices?” Without missing a beat, his wife proclaims “Yes or No”.

Act more, react less. Make productive choices and enjoy life. That’s what freedom of choice is really all about.

On that note, we are now hosting our third foreign exchange student over the last six years. For those of you who have never entertained the thought of doing something such as this, I must tell you that it has been one the most rewarding experiences for not only myself, but my family as well.

Two of the young ladies were from Germany and one from Finland. Their knowledge of the United States and the American people come only from word of mouth from friends or siblings who have traveled here or what they have seen or read in the media or for that matter what they have studied in their schools. In truth, probably not a fair picture of arguably the greatest nation in the world.

Uniformly, the one thing that hits them first is that we are the land of excess. Shopping, restaurants, school of choice, freedom of religion and political views, police and fire protection all being abundant. Specifically they have the freedom of choice, far more options that they have ever known, and the ability to make choices without duress.

I must share with you how incredibly refreshing this is. Yes, “taking things for granted” is overused American slang to depict our laissez-faire attitude. It fits in well with our “sense of entitlement”. However looking at our culture paints a completely different picture when viewed through different eyes.

Spending a day going to Lafayette Coney Island for lunch, taking in a Tiger’s game and then having an awesome piece of pastry from the Astoria Bakery in Greek town takes on a whole new meeting when looked at through the eyes of a sixteen year old exchange student.

The reason I bring this up is that being of the Jewish faith, my family just celebrated the New Year. And yes it is a religion not a cultural background (I have no clue why Jews themselves site their religion when asked rather than their heritage). For those of you who never knew, I have Hungarian, Turkish, Polish and French Canadian ancestry. Yea, I know, that explains a lot.

While let me be clear, this blog is not about religion, it is about the spirit and message of the Jewish holiday. The celebration of the Jewish New Year is unlike many others in that it encompasses atonement and repentance as part of the ritual celebration.

For those of you, who are completely unfamiliar with the Jewish holidays, indulge me and I will take you on a thirty second tour….

Rosh Hashanah is commonly referred to as the “Jewish New Year.” It is observed on the first two days of “Tishrei”, which is the seventh month of the Hebrew calendar (That’s why it never is the same day on the American calendar).

Rosh Hashanah is the beginning of the ritual High Holidays or “Asseret Yemei Teshuva” the (Ten Days of Repentance) which are days specifically set aside to focus on repentance and conclude with the holiday of Yom Kippur.

According to Jewish tradition, it is said that God opens the “Book of Life” on Rosh Hashanah and will ultimately inscribe each person’s fate for the coming year on Yom Kippur. During the Ten days of Atonement Jews often try to amend his or her behavior and seek forgiveness for wrongs done against God and against other human beings.

Known as the Day of Atonement, Yom Kippur is one of the holiest days of the year for Jews. Given that its central themes are atonement and repentance, Jews traditionally observe this holy day with a 24-hour period (sundown to sundown) of fasting and intensive prayer, often spending most of the day in synagogue or temple services. Yom Kippur completes the annual period known in Judaism as the High Holy Days
So, you ask what am I really getting at here.

For me, this is a time of reflection. No it’s not Thanksgiving and I am not going to bore you with all of the things I’m thankful for. It is kind of a reverse Thanksgiving if you will.

I look at my life over the last year and ponder was I good dad, was I the best husband I could have been. Could my friends count on me when needed and could my employer count on my best efforts? Did I make my parents proud and did I add favorable to my legacy.

Was I able to take the time to sit back, like the wonderful exchange students that we have had and realize all of the wonderful opportunities I have been granted. Have I been grateful and appreciative to those who provided me with them, or have I taken them in stride as if I was entitled?

Thank you all so much for following my blog. I hope that it has enlightened some of you, made a few of you chuckle and in some small way enriched you. Thanks for bringing me into your life. To those of you whose path I may have crossed this past year that did not leave you with a favorable memory of me, I certainly take responsibility for that and I hope that you allow me to make in right.

Take a moment in your busy life to stop and think about atonement and repentance. Think about that relationship you ended over something ultimately silly. The argument that resulted in hateful words that you wish you could have back. The really stupid thing you did that you so regret.

There is always time to correct them and make amends. The saddest person is the one who goes to his grave holding on to his anger and animosity.

Enjoy life my friends and all that it has to offer. Make peace and create joy and happiness. For those of you celebrating a very heartfelt “L’shanah tovah tikatev v’taihatem” (May you be inscribed and sealed for a good year).”

You know the type, hardnosed, hardheaded, and with a heart as big as a mountain. If it is true what they say that “The bigger they are, the harder they fall” shock waves not only went through his family, but also the thousands of mourners who visited him both at the funeral home and his final resting place after he died.

Dean was just a carefree guy. Had a gorgeous wife and three beautiful daughters who he adored every minute of every day. Yes, he worked. Worked hard too, with a perfect safety record of which he was damn proud. The most important thing though was family. Everything was about family. Birthdays, Communions, Bat Mitzvahs, family gatherings, graduation parties, you name it. Any reason to be with family was a great reason.

A close second was his Harleys. The man loved his Harleys and he loved to ride.

Dean didn’t die of Cancer or a brain tumor. He didn’t die of a heart attack or some rare blood disease. He wasn’t murdered by gun shot or knife nor did he die in some natural disaster.

He was killed by someone who didn’t take the time to look. The other guy.

I am not by any means against motorcyclists. I myself rode dirt bikes for years as a kid and loved it. I was terrified about ever riding on main roads and never did get my license to do so. The thing is, I never trusted the other guy. Dean was killed by the other guy.

He rode for over 30 years and was a trusted rider who was careful, proactive and didn’t believe in showboating. He respected the rules of the road and the bigger and larger vehicles around him. He always remained in control; Dean just couldn’t control the other guy.

Now, two families are destroyed.

Here are some statistics that may shock you:

• According to the Insurance Information Institute (III), there are 7.1 million motorcycles on the road in the United States, and over one million new motorcycles and dirt bikes are purchased every year.

• In 2008 5,290 people died in motorcycle accidents across the country – the highest number ever recorded. More recent statistics are not yet available.

• The number of motorcycle accidents and fatalities has increased every year for the last decade.

• More and more riders over 40 years of age are being killed in motorcycle crashes – a trend that reflects the aging baby boomers.

• According to the U.S. Department of Transportation’s National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), you are 37 times more likely to die in a motorcycle accident than a car accident – and nine times more likely to become injured while riding a motorcycle than while driving a car.

• Last year, 14 percent of all traffic accident deaths involved motorcycles.

• There were 114,000 serious motorcycle accidents last year that involved injuries or property damage.

One major study done on this subject in the United States was the Hurt Report, which was published a number of years back. The Hurt Report concluded with a list of 55 findings, as well as several major recommendations for law enforcement and legislation.

Notable findings in the Hurt report included:

• 75% of motorcycle accidents were found to involve both a motorcycle and a passenger vehicle.

• In these accidents, the driver of the other vehicle violated the motorcycle right-of-way and caused the accident in two-thirds of those accidents.

• “The failure of motorists to detect and recognize motorcycles in traffic is the predominating cause of motorcycle accidents…

Careless driving has to stop. Respect for bikers is mandatory. Motorcycles are not going away and as such, your attention to them is not only requested, but demanded. Eliminating texting while driving was a good first step in protecting all vehicle passengers; now for our friends on bikes let’s stop:

• Tailgating riders

• Changing lanes without checking blind spots

• Racing them to intersections or cutting them off

• Disregarding traffic signs because at first glance we don’t see any traffic

The funny thing people, is that it is as simple as what you learned when you got your license, combined with just a little plain common decency and courtesy. Traits I know we all have.

If you think I am passionate about this subject, well I am. My daughter’s future father-in-law was critically injured a few years ago when a woman ran a traffic sign and slammed into him on his bike. After years of healing, and a subsequent stroke from the accident he is now legally blind and was forced to give up a thriving dental practice.

My future son-in law rides as well and on occasion is accompanied by my daughter. I will be honest with you; it scares the very hell out of me. While I know that he is a very responsible rider, I’m worried about the other guy.

Please watch for them on the road, I hold their safety in your hands.

There was a time in my life when I really worried about what others had to say about what I said and or did. I had to have that reassurance and vote of confidence. My first baseball coach had “confidence” written on the back of my jersey instead of my name. I was really little okay, but I was cute and the moms all loved me, and I had game, so eat your hearts out. Even today, I will often find myself prefacing what I am going to say as if it were an intrusion or that it needs the proper “set-up”.

You know I really used to care. I really really did. What if people see me as an idiot? What if they think I am a complete imbecile? What if they take on that I am just plain odd and that they don’t want to have anything to do with me?

I remember my dad saying, “Son, people can always be perceived as being smart until they open their mouths”. I became great at the “nod” and a master of words and phrases like “I understand, tell me more “or “What is the reasoning behind your thoughts?” Or even simply the word “Really?” I didn’t want to face being judged.

Well, I love all of you but get this; I am strange, idiotic and silly stupid at times. I am the tomato of fruit (it is) and the peanut of nuts (it’s not) and I love it. The cold hard truth, and we have all heard it before, is that life is hard and then we die. I am all about finding the nonsense in all of it.

If you have read my book or followed my blog you know that I love Robin Williams and have often recited his quote “You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.” The truth is, I love his madness. I love his ability to pick on anyone at anytime without trepidation and just live in the moment. His approval and acceptance come from his ability to be completely comfortable with his own sense of insanity.

I honestly don’t believe that we are fundamentally willing to put ourselves at risk enough to live from and inside our own sense of insanity. Now let me be clear here, not going insane and doing something which is illegal, unethical or immoral, but insane only to the point that you are willing to put yourself at risk to take on something new and exciting. Something refreshing and out of character which creates the room for you or others to laugh at or with you.

I love it when I walk up to a stranger and say something completely out of left field and they just start laughing. I love making silly faces when it’s not called for. I love telling a really bad joke at the most inopportune time. It allows me to be human and it allows me to be me.

If I make you smile and brighten your day, mission accomplished for me.

If you hang with me, you’re going to run the risk of being embarrassed, because I don’t take myself seriously and neither should you. I’m not for the weak of heart. The one thing I will guarantee you is a pretty funny ride. I’ll take on doing whatever it takes.

As I have shared with you, my daughters are dancers and if I wanted to be an active part of their life, I needed to take that on as well. For the last 15 years or so you can find me on a couple of warm June nights performing at their annual recital with other dads, who like me, have plenty of room for not really caring what other people think. I’ve dressed up in drag many times; I’ve been Santa Claus’s elf, entertainers Pink, Madonna, Michael Jackson, and even Tina Turner. I’ve even stripped to my boxer shorts, t-shirt and a white top hat parading around to the song “Leave your hat on”.

Believe me there is nothing more thrilling than chasing a makeshift boob made out of styrofoam across a stage.

I might be a lunatic but after years of mental anguish and much therapy my kids now know I am willing to do what it takes to be the cool dad. Embarrassing at times sure, but I know they are proud when their friends tell them how “cool they think their dad is”.

It’s really not just about being crazy for crazy sake; it really is about giving you permission to step outside of your comfort zone and having some crazy silly fun. I want to find the fun in everything. I want to laugh out loud and it doesn’t matter to me if I am laughing at you or myself.

Some people choose to define insanity in the manner in which Einstein’s did. That insanity was doing the same things over and over again expecting different results. I mean absolutely no offense to those who may suffer from any mental illness and respect the challenges that they may face. In good spirit and in the face of challenging you to love life just a little bit more I choose to define insanity as:

1. You write to your mother in Italy every week, even though she sends you mail from California asking why you never write.
2. You wear your boxers on your head because you heard it will ward off evil dandruff spirits.
3. You always have to apologize to your next door neighbor for setting fire to his lawn decorations.
4. Nobody listens to you anymore, because they can’t understand you through that scuba mask.
5. You have meaningful conversations with your toaster.
6. Melba toast excites you.
7. When the waiter asks for your order, you ask to go into another room to tell him because “the napkins have ears.”
8. The person you always talk to is invisible to everyone but you.
9. You keep thinking this is the year for the Lions.
10. You see migrating flocks of ducks in the fall and only your attachment to the toaster keeps you from joining them.

Love life my friends and try taking on just a little more craziness and a little more silly stupidity. You just might find out how far a good hearty belly laugh can take you.

Not to be outdone she fired back “No, you’re just not listening to what I am saying” she continued on with “If you just be quiet for a minute, you will see that I am right”

As I listened to them I began to chuckle watching how animated each of them were becoming as they tried so hard to forge their argument. Each was convinced that they were right and that the other was wrong. While it was cute for a while, it became a little sad that neither was giving in and they were both getting extremely upset with each other.

I started thinking and wondering if it is fundamental human nature that for us to be right, someone else has to be wrong. Is that really true? Have we become as a society, that judgmental?

The question drove me to do some research (okay I Googled it) and I found that everywhere I looked the difference between right and wrong was based on some sense of morality. But is it really, because I’m not necessarily sure I agree. Isn’t morality in a sense, a form of judgment?

Couldn’t right and wrong be simply defined as a matter of ones perspective or experiences that drive their specific viewpoint? Could it be that an opinion is just that, an opinion not necessarily based on any absolute truth or fact, thus making it neither right nor wrong?

Let’s look at it this way. Say you are enjoying a great movie on the couch in your living room with your significant other when all of a sudden they proclaim “I am freezing in here; I’ve got two blankets on me”. Your immediate reaction is “Are you nuts, I’ve got a tee-shirt and shorts on and I am as hot as I could possibly be”. Immediately an argument ensues as you call each other crazy.

Now here is the funny part, the only real absolute truth is the temperature on the thermostat. Everything else is opinion, judgment and or perspective. No morality here that I can see. Could you both be right? Can it be both hot and cold in the same room at the same time?

Take it one step further to an analogy that most of you are familiar with. Is the glass half empty or is the glass half full? Or is it simply a glass with a measurable amount of water in it? Maybe it’s not so much about if you are an optimist or a pessimist. There would be judgment in that right? Can it in fact be both?

Let me also be clear in what is an absolute truth. I see it as an unalterable and permanent fact. I do get that the concept of absolute truths – what they are and whether they exist – has been debated among many different groups of people, but for our conversation, humor me. I get that philosophers have waded in the muck of defining absolute truth for centuries. While, Plato believed that absolute truth existed, many others believe in relative truths, where facts may vary depending on the circumstances.

Humor me just a little bit more as I recognize that it’s difficult to disprove the concept of absolute truth, since saying that there are no absolute truths – that it is absolutely true that no absolute truth exists – is itself an absolute truth.

The hard part is that living in a world which thrives on exercising judgment leaves very little room to examine what may or may not be an absolute truth. We have become so focused on our opinions and judgments as being factual instead of taking on our country’s newest catch phrase “It is what it is” that we only want to debate for our standing rather than accept that two opinions can both be right.

While certainly the phrase is not new and the origin is uncertain, it has been around for years. It really became more prominent and mainstream in 2004 when the five-word line used by many athletes and coaches to sum up troubles of all sorts sent an instant message that it’s time to move on, and “It is what it is” was declared “The Sports Quote of the Year”.

Don Powell, psychologist, sports fan and author of Best Sports Clichés Ever!, and a local resident of West Bloomfield, Mich., whose nickname is Dr. Cliché has a theory why the phrase has become so popular. “You have athletes becoming more philosophical than they used to be,” said Powell. He further noted that many athletes are now willing to take on “It’s happened. I’m going to forget about it. I’m going to move on. … There is nothing more that can be said or done about it.”

Hanging on to what you believe to be right by making others wrong will never translate into positive or constructive conversation, nor will it ever, despite the motivation behind your desires, create the space for someone to willingly accept you as being “right”.

I am reminded of the old story I once heard about a Rabbi who was having trouble with his congregation. It seemed they could not agree on anything. The President of the congregation said, “Rabbi, this cannot be allowed to continue. We must have a conference, and we must settle all areas of dispute once and for all.” The rabbi agreed.

The Rabbi, the President, and ten elders met in the conference room of the synagogue, sitting about a magnificent mahogany table. One by one the issues were dealt with and on each issue; it became more and more apparent that the Rabbi was a lonely voice. The President of the synagogue said, “Rabbi, enough of this. Let us vote and allow the majority to rule.”

He passed out slips of paper and each man made his mark. The slips were collected and the President said, “You may examine them, Rabbi. It is eleven to one against you. We have the majority, therefore we are right.”

The Rabbi rose to his feet and exclaimed. “So,” he said, “You now think because of this vote that you are right and I am wrong. Well, that is not so. I stand here” –and he raised his arms impressively– “And call upon God to give us a sign that I am right and you are wrong.” And as he said that, there came a frightful crack of thunder and a brilliant flash of lightning that struck the mahogany table and cracked it in two. The room was filled with smoke and fumes, and the President and the elders were hurled to the floor.

Through the carnage, the Rabbi remained erect and untouched, his eyes flashing and a grim smile on his face. Slowly, the President lifted himself above what was left of the table. His hair was singed, his glasses were hanging from one ear, and his clothing was in disarray. Finally he said, “All right, eleven to two. But we still have the majority.”

Here is a little something to take forward. Remove judgment from your daily conversations and watch how people change how they interact with you. I am not saying I’m right, nor if you don’t buy into what I am saying that you are wrong; I’m just saying “It is what it is”.

On a recent comedy show Robin made the statement “Why do they call it “Rush Hour” when no one actually moves. Okay, not as much funny as it is inquisitive. The term “Rush Hour” actually has its own Wikipedia definition where it convinces us that the term is a “misnomer” because it is “often more than an hour” and that it refers not to the “pace of traffic but the “rate of flow”. Oh, and it tells us that there are two distinct “Rush Hours”, one in the morning and one in the early evening as people are working their way to or from work.

The site even wants to convince me that there is the possibility of a “Third Rush Hour” to define the period of time that everyone is back in their cars racing around during their lunch hour. Huh?

All of a sudden the lyrics to Simon and Garfunkel’s Feelin’ Groovy just flashed through my head (No, not a flower child here, and by the way the actual song title is 59th St. Bridge Song and it was featured in Spiderman as the bridge that the tram was on).

If you don’t remember, try this on for size:

Slow down, you move too fast.
You got to make the morning last.
Just kicking down the cobble stones.
Looking for fun and feelin’ groovy.

I’ve got no deeds to do,
No promises to keep.
I’m dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep.
Let the morning time drop all its petals on me.
Life, I love you,
All is groovy.

Okay, now I dare you to get that out of your head for the rest of the day.

Here is the truth my friends. We really have forgotten what is to feel “groovy”. We race to work in the morning and we race home from work at night. We race to take our kids to lessons or a school function. We are either coming or going all the time.

Life has become more complicated than we ever anticipated it might be. Unfortunately most of us have cloaked ourselves completely with obligation and responsibility 24/7 without giving us room to take a breather.

I ask you, when did that become healthy?

Yes, I grant you that they are often the yardstick by how we are measured in society and I won’t disagree with you that as adults we have a sense of responsibility to our daily obligations. Our jobs, our kids, our family, our friends, social obligations, after hour work functions and on and on and on…..

I get it. I also get the fact that we will be judged by how others view how we handled each of these individual circumstances. That it will define us in life.

Well for you, if it does I can accept that. For me it doesn’t work.

I have lots of obligations and responsibilities just like the next guy and its not about who has more, it’s simply about taking time from the fast track and finding time for myself. It’s about doing what I need to do for self preservation and an ability to clear my head and complete my thoughts.

I tell my youngest daughter often that I view every day as awesome and that the only thing that can take away from that is what I personally allow to detract from it. I can only be upset or angered if I agree to take those feelings on.

No, I’m not saying that it is easy, because of course it is not. It is however the choice I chose to make.

I also choose to set aside a portion of each day for me. It does not matter whether it is for reflection, clearing, or simply alone time to regenerate. I need to mentally and physically be in a place where I can meet my responsibilities and obligations head on and with the correct attitude, because I recognize how important it really is.

I love life. I love being happy, smiling, telling a good joke (even a few bad ones) and laughing out loud.

Now follow along with me…Ba da, da, da, da, …Feelin’ Groovy.