Who Ever Paid Me To Be a Role Model?

Bet I know what you are thinking, “What the hell was he thinking?”

I have no intentions in this blog to take sides in this issue. I won’t debate whether he owed society an explanation for his behavior or if it should have remained a family issue. I am sure you can find that in many other blogs.

I want to talk about a more important issue. Let’s just say the mighty Tiger has been brought to his knees and leave it at that. Many will argue that his transgressions will be the destruction of yet another famous athlete’s reputation. All you have to do is read the headlines in your local papers. “The Downfall of an Icon” reads one. “A Great American Role Model Gone” reads another, and probably the most damming that I read which stated “Youth around the World set back by the actions of their idol and role model”.

Wow, that’s pretty heavy stuff.

However before we go any further into our discussion, let us take a moment to break down that last statement and better define what or who Tiger really is.

What is a role model? Encarta defines it as somebody to be copied: a worthy person who is a good example for other people. The free dictionary defines it as a person regarded by others, especially younger people, as a good example to follow. The Merriam Webster dictionary defines it simply as a person whose behavior in a particular role is imitated by others.

Now let’s look at what an idol is. The same dictionaries define an idol as a person, whose behavior in a particular role can be considered as god like, or one that is adored, and finally a representation or symbol of an object of worship

Think for a few moments about those definitions and how they may be somewhat similar yet worlds apart.

Okay here it is in Black and White. Tiger Woods is and was an idol if you or your children made the conscious decision to accept him as one. He is not, never was and never should have been considered to be a role model. I am not asking you to necessary agree with that fact; however I hope that, whatever you do believe, defining role models start at home.

Our responsibility as parents is to provide a safe, nurturing, caring and compassionate environment which fosters our children’s ability to learn. Provide them with a haven to learn about love, respect and responsibility. To learn what honesty, integrity, and sincerity truly mean as they learn to interact with others. Anything short of that is a failure on our part. Sorry to be so harsh, but I elected to bring children into this world and for that I must assume the culpability and responsibility that comes along with it.

It is your responsibility and you need to own up to it.

The greatest compliment that any child can give a parent is to tell them that they in fact are their role models. That as a parent, they have set a good example for them and that they are a better person for emulating the lessons that they were taught as they were growing up. That’s called validation for a job well done.

Your responsibility as well is to insure that your children know and understand what the difference is between an idol and a role model. By no means am I saying that there is anything wrong with having a room full of posters, and memorabilia for those that they idolize. But that is my point; it is someone that they, by definition see as an idol. They only become a role model if we as parents are not there to point out the distinction between the two or if we fail in our efforts to foster the right environment.

Here is another truth. All worldly idols will at one point or another drop the ball. Why? Because they are human and human beings are not infallible. Everyone one of us, no matter how perfect we profess ourselves to be have had a moment or two in our life that we are not proud of. A moment in time where we sit back and reflect on what exactly we were thinking.

As a role model for our children, we can sit them down on a one on one basis and discuss the issue and utilize it as a learning experience. Idols rarely do.

We have a terrible habit of placing idols on a pedestal in the middle of the village square and professing them to be everything that we want to be. We want to live our lives vicariously through them and in our eyes they are perfection. But that’s the funny thing, they are not perfect or flawless, we just tend to look past those idiosyncrasies.

We buy what they pitch. We emulate their golf swings. We dream to have what they have. That’s what we do with idols.

While, as we said, any parent wants their children to see them as a positive influence it is not always the case with idols that we allow our kids to consider as role models.

Ex-professional basketball player Charles Barkley, after attempting to spit at another player missed and hit a young man at court side. When chided for his actions and cavalier attitude about the circumstance he replied “I didn’t sign up to be any kid’s role model”.

If you ever visit my office you will see to pictures side by side. You will see one of Tiger Woods in the middle of a perfect follow through. I idolize the guy for his golf game, his dedication to charity, and his unwavering focus (I really have no intention of taking it down either). He would be just as successful running a fortune 500 company as he is on the tour.

The second photo is of a dad and his son walking off into the sunset with their golf bags over their shoulders under the caption “Priorities; Love is, above all else the gift of oneself”. You see my dad was my role model. He taught me about life.

Make sure to spend a moment with your children and help them define the difference between an idol and a role model, it could make all the difference in how they see the world

Fair, Who Ever Said Life Was Fair?

Those of you who know me well, know that I am a man who is never at a loss for words. Instead of talking so much and yes I still do that, this forum has allowed me to put some of those words to paper. I must say that I was totally shocked by the impact that my last blog posting had on so many people. Yea, some have accused me of being a little over dramatic at times so I was not really sure if or how many of you would respond.

The relationship between a dad and a daughter is certainly a wonderful thing. It is something that only a dad and a daughter can truly understand. It was never my intention to bring people to tears, only remind them that life is fleeting and to enjoy every moment of the quality opportunities that we are granted. My two daughters allow me to be a part of many of their life’s experiences along with them and for that I am very blessed.

You see, life is really a funny thing. Not necessarily in a Ha Ha… way, but more specifically in an ironic way. True, sometimes it can be humorous. Sometimes it can be carefree and sometimes problematic. Sometimes it can be adventurous and daring and other times full of trepidation and anxiety. However, the one thing that life is not is fair.

As young kids, we often told our parents that certain things just weren’t fair. “How come she can do it and I can’t, that’s not fair”. Why did they pick him and not me, that’s just not fair”.

If you are so inclined to do so, look at the MSN online Encarta dictionary and you will find that there are thirteen different adjective definitions, three adverb, and two verb definitions. That would make eighteen different definitions for one word.

However, when you review each one you will find that life is not any of them. It is nor reasonable or unbiased, it’s not done according to the rules. It’s not acceptable or slightly better than acceptable.

When did this perception that life was fair start? Who ever said that things need to be fair?

In the last couple of months I have seen three friends lose their young sons due to varying circumstances, and a groomsman from my wedding who was followed shortly thereafter by his heartbroken father.

If the years you have experienced haven’t spoken to you yet, let me remind you. Life is not fair. It wasn’t meant to be, it never intended to be and it never will be. Life is not a destination that we arrive at like a train station or an airport terminal. Life is not arriving at grandma’s house safe and sound. Life is an adventure more comparable to a roller coaster with its ups and downs and unpredictability.

We all react differently and we all see the experience differently. Some will see it as an awesome ride and others will see it as a few minutes of sheer panic. The truth is that the experience creates your perception.

Watching my oldest daughter drive off to Florida to begin the rest of her life was heartbreaking to me. Watching a parent lose a child is nothing short of gut wrenching. My heart aches for their families and I can find no spoken or unspoken words to say other than that I am truly sorry and that I will always be there should they need me for support.

Yes, I know and understand that some of you may feel that it is part of the plan of a higher being, or that they are in a better place now. I grieved when I lost my father a few years back and I grew to respect and understand the words that others said to me. I knew that their intentions were well meaning, but for me, at that time, it just wasn’t fair that he was taken at such a young age and there was no rationalization that I could grasp.

Some will say that I have no business writing a blog about a topic I have no personal experience with, and thank God I don’t. I do have experience being a parent to children I love and adore. There is nothing fair about a parent having to bury a child. It’s not fair.

I am heartbroken for these families and I hope that they can find the necessary comfort to move on at some point with the rest of their lives. I understand that it will never be the same for them again. I will however be there as a friend with open arms and a listening ear when they need someone they can count on.

I am sure that right now they can not find any peace or any semblance of understanding for what has happened. To my friends, you are right, it is not fair. Each of your children was incredibly special and touched every life that they came upon. In their own way they enriched the lives of others and made an impact on this world.

Know that the last message they left the rest of us was that life is not fair and that we as parents should be more focused and driven to find a few more minutes in our busy lives to pick up our own kids and hug them or stop and call them to tell them how much we love them and how proud we are of them.

I love you girls and I am damn proud of you.

A Dad’s Letter to His Little Girl

To my Daughter,

Yesterday, I held your tiny little body in my hands. So fragile and frail. I watched your eyes open for the very first time as you tried to focus on something familiar. I watched intently as you gazed upon a new and unfamiliar world. I choked back tears as my emotions overcame me as I admired how beautiful you were. I was so excited that I was going to be a new dad and you were going to be my first born daughter. My little girl.

When I think back over the last twenty three and a half years, I think how truly amazing it is what I recall. I can be accused of not remembering what I had for lunch, but memories of you, I will never forget. I remember bringing you home from the hospital for the very first time; painting Sesame Street characters on your bedroom wall and that wooden rocking chair where we first bonded.

I remember the special relationship you and our dog Camelot had. How inseparable the two of you were; funny Halloween costumes and family vacations to Disneyworld; daddy daughter dances. I remember sprees and carnivals and just being silly, for silly sake, yet how responsible you were when we bought your first car.

I remember the wonderful relationship you had with your grandfathers. They were both blessed to call you their very first as well. I will never forget how you could make them smile like nothing else in life. How you made them glow and how their eyes lit up with a twinkle whenever they spent quality time with you; how you showed them such a special kind of reciprocal love.

I remember your love of dance. I recall everything from practice and lessons to costumes and rhinestones; from falling asleep in the lobby waiting through late night classes and then driving home to traveling the globe for competitions; all of the competitions to our trip to Los Angeles. More than anything I recall all of the special conversations we had about life that we shared together during those times.

I remember how beautiful you looked and how incredibly proud I was of you on the monumental occasions that you have experienced so far in your young life. I recall how confident and self assured you were at your Bat Mitzvah, to what an elegant and classy young lady you were for each and every homecoming and prom.

I remember college days and all of our wonderful chats as you faced becoming an independent, grown-up young adult. I remember visiting you at college and picking up a rock from the parking lot and giving it to you as a special remembrance of our special time together. I’ll never forget the tears streaming down my cheeks as I watched you walk across the stage to receive your college diploma.

In case you ever wondered, my love for you was never just because it is a dad’s responsibility to do so, but more because of who you were becoming, who you are today, and what I know you are destined to be. While it would be easy for any dad to recite all the reasons he loves his daughter, I love you most for your sense of empathy.

I love how passionate and understanding you are, and how cognizant you are of others feelings. You are tolerant and patient and dedicated to what is true and right. Traits that are rare today yet will drive you to excel in whatever paths you choose to navigate.

I hope I have done a good job of raising you. I hope I was a great dad when you needed me to be one. I hope you understood when I scolded you, and I hope I made you smile enough to laugh at life. I hope I was a good friend when you needed me to be. I hope I listened when you needed an ear and I hope that I was a voice of reason when you needed a shoulder.

I hope more than anything, I taught you to dream. And when you dream, I hope that you always dream big. I hope that I taught you to always believe in yourself as much as I believe in you. Never ever forget that you can accomplish anything your heart desires. Always reach for the highest of stars and aspire to do or be the unimaginable.

This week I will watch as you drive away to begin the next chapter in your life in another state far from my protecting arms.

Oh, I really do understand. I really do. You have become a grown up woman, passionate and independent, and you need to go where you can build a future for yourself. I get it. Graduate school, a career, and a fiancée await you, and I couldn’t be prouder. Proud of what you have accomplished, and proud of what I know you will become. I know your impact on this world will be immeasurable.

The most difficult challenge for any dad is the thought that he has to be his daughter’s protector. He needs to shield her from any harm. He needs to make any pain go away and needs to look over her shoulder to make sure she always makes the correct decision.

You have made raising you my greatest joy. I am so thrilled to be your dad and know you have made an excellent choice in selecting the man that you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with.

Just remember not to forget me, as you will always be near and dear to my heart and never out of my thoughts. Just don’t fault me if those tears start streaming again as I watch my little girl drive off as a confident and mature woman.

Love,

Dad

A Dog Walks Into a Bar and Orders a Drink…

A Rabbi, an Indian Chief and an Accountant all walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says “Okay, I give, what’s the punch line? Alright I give you I don’t have the worlds greatest sense of humor, however for me, it works. Ask my friends, some of my jokes are better than others. The truth is however if you keep feeding them great ones without a groaner in there once in a while, the crowd will never appreciate the really funny ones.

I love a good joke, as I am sure you do as well. It serves so many purposes. It is a great ice breaker in a difficult or uncomfortable situation. It humanizes you when you may seem robotic or unapproachable. Most importantly when you share a good joke it allows others the ability to take a moment and escape from their daily grind. A laugh, a chuckle, a silly smile or even a groan allows others to take their mind off of the challenges they may be facing at that moment, or in the best possible scenario, allows them to reset their priorities in a much better light.

I will tell you another thing of fact. Telling a great joke and the ability to laugh at one self is also a tremendous stress reliever. Yes, I put myself out there, right on the firing line. Sometimes I will have others laughing hysterically and other times just sitting there shaking their heads. But hey, that’s perfectly okay. They can laugh at my jokes, or me. I am okay with it either way.

Why do you think that some of Johnny Carson’s greatest monologues on the Tonight Show were the ones where he just wasn’t funny? We thought it was riotous just watching him squirm under the hot lights. He didn’t care that the jokes bombed, you laughed and that’s why you tuned in.

You see jokes are really a lighthearted look at life. They can be based on misconceptions or actual reality. They can be delivered as a witty slice of life or a dry take on human drama. In most cases, as they should always be delivered, they are not designed with any pre-conceived malice. Jokes create a harmonious environment. Yes, people will go to a sold out concert to watch a master of humor tell jokes for a couple of hours to be entertained, but on a much smaller scale look for the joke teller at your next social gathering and I bet you will find the crowd around him or her.

I can sit for hours trading jokes with old friends or by sharing a love of laughter with new ones. I love a great comedy show, concert or movie when it takes me away from my challenges. I love the Robin Williams quote “No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world. You’re only given a spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.”

So I ask you, when was the last time you let your hair down? Not necessarily when was the last time you heard a really great joke that made you burst out laughing in public? No, I mean when was the last time you took it upon yourself to risk making a complete fool out of yourself retelling one of the funniest jokes or stories you ever heard to others?

I am not saying that every circumstance in life deserves a good joke to lighten the moment, but you might be surprised if you think back to certain moments in you own lives where someone told you a great joke and it immediately changed your outlook or perspective.

The world is filled with unique personalities, social classes, ethnicities, and levels of intelligence. A great joke, when not offensive crosses all barriers. Some of the funniest jokes are often delivered by someone when it is completely out of their character.

Albert Einstein, arguably one of the greatest scientists that the world has ever seen once was quoted at a national symposium as saying the following “When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, it seems like two minutes. When you sit on a hot stove for two minutes, it seems like two hours. Now that’s relativity.” Now that’s also funny.

Yes, each of us is born with just a little spark of madness. That cut loose, it’s okay to be stupid and make an idiot out of myself, what will people think of me in the morning madness. However, way too many of us suppress that madness as a distraction or wasted energy when in fact it just may be what the situation needed. Some will say “Life is tough and then you die” and to them I say life is a journey and it is what we make it. Live love and laugh. Better yet, lighten up. Find just a little spark of your madness and take the time to share it with others.

A rabbit walks into a bar in the old western days and proclaims “I‘m looking for the guy who shot my paw’…

My Mortgage Rate Went Up Because Grandpa Bought a New Car

Having worked in the mortgage industry for approximately 27 years now, I am often asked how mortgage rates are determined. I would love to tell you that I have all of the answers, however some days it is clear that I am still not as familiar with all of the nuances of changing mortgage interest rates as I often think I am.

The unpredictability of our economy coupled with the rise and fall of consumer confidence has left me, many times, bewildered. I still recall in my early years, how many times while getting ready to go to work in the morning, I would hear on the radio that the Federal government lowered rates but when I got to the office I was surprised to find out that many of my fellow loan officers were frantically trying to lock in their client’s interest rates.

Back then it didn’t make any sense to me or to many of my clients who were calling and asking to see if they could get a lower rate. We had to tell them that the rates had actually gone up. Many times I could hear in their voice a little twinge of disbelieve, but it was true!

When the Federal Reserve meets and decides to raise the rates it affects short-term interest rate maturities, the Fed funds rate, and the overnight lending rate which have a direct impact on the Prime rate. Anyone taking only these factors into consideration would mistakenly conclude that rate increases made by the Fed government will cause a similar movement in mortgage interest rates.

However, mortgage interest rates are dictated by the daily trading (purchase/sale) of mortgage-backed securities or mortgage bonds. That is why mortgage interest rates fluctuate every day. Factors that dictate interest rate movement include the trade of stocks and bonds.

Every single day of trading stocks and bonds includes competing for the same investment dollar and literally there is only so much of that capital to be invested. Daily released economic data is carefully watched by traders for signs of economic health. If there are signs of a slow-down in our economy, investors will tend to quickly liquidate their stock.

A good example of this would be if the unemployment report is up, we will typically have a rally of mortgage-backed securities and rates will go down. If unemployment is down and shows strength in the economy, mortgage-backed securities will tend to sell off causing mortgage rates to go up.

In even simpler terms, mortgage rates change primarily based on: 1) the perception of inflation, 2) times of uncertainty and 3) the movement of money in and out of the stock market–that’s it. When a piece of news shows weakness or uncertainty in the economy, that helps rates fall. The opposite is also true. A drop in the unemployment rate, a rise in durable goods orders, a rise in the consumer confidence index–rates go up. These influencing factors can present themselves all the time, many without warning, affecting mortgage rates instantly.

General rule: Good Economic News = High Interest Rates | Bad Economic News = Lower Interest Rates

Remember it is never about the best rate. It is about the best MATH, period. So why isn’t the lowest rate the best deal? Lower rates often come with more points and fees. That is not the real issue, however. There is a break even point to contend with when paying points and fees, as well as tax deductions to figure out.

In the case of a purchase loan, points are tax deductible in the year that you pay them as is the interest you are paying. With a refinance, points are usually only deductible over the full term of the loan. That could be 30 years, making the benefits and the break even point years down the road.

So why do lenders advertise really low rates with all of those points and fees? Because they know most consumers look at the rate, not the math. Unfortunately, that advertising strategy works really well. A good Loan Officer can analyze each rate and fee option to find out what the best math is for you. It only takes a few seconds for a professional to do it. As long as you qualify for various options, the final decision is yours.

Reading the paper for quotes doesn’t really work because the information is old by the time you read it. Radio, TV and billboards are not the answer because details are often missing. Their objective is to get you on the phone. Competitive and professional lenders can deliver nearly identical rates to each other. Most borrowers don’t ask the right questions and focus only on the interest rate.

The Bottom Line is that there is no one source that is the cheapest. If one lender always had the best combination of rate and fees, everyone would know about it eventually, right? The only other way most lenders can compete with one another is to somehow convince the public that they have some “secret way” of providing lower than market rates.

The market is the market and generally, you will pay for it one way or another. Only work with a professional mortgage company where the loan officers are skilled at the mathematics and can explain it in plain English. Feel free to ask for meaningful references such as CPA’s or Realtors, not just past customers. In times like these, don’t gamble with something as important as your mortgage.

What Time Is It When An Elephant Sits On Your Fence?

Okay, it’s an old joke that has been around for longer than both of us. If you are one of the few who have never heard it before, the answer is “Time to get a new fence”.

But, what does the joke have to do with this blog?

When I heard the joke for the thousandth time repeated by my nephew the other day, I got to thinking that it really was a great analogy for our lives today. I know you may be thinking that I have gone and lost my mind, however stick with me for a moment

Think of yourself as the fence. You stand rigid, the guardian of all things inside. You are the protector, the wage earner, the financial manager and the keeper of all things valuable. You decide what external influences you will allow inside.

You believe that you are a fence made of sturdy construction and able to weather any storm or turbulence, when along comes the elephant who decides that after an exhausting day, to take a short rest, right smack on the middle of your weakest point.

Alright, now let’s move past the picture in your head. Sorry about that. The elephant represents today’s external challenges. For simplicity, let’s just call him “Stress”. And yes, the pun is intended.

These are trying times indeed. As we slowly creep towards an economic recovery, I doubt anyone will come out unscathed. Some will be affected more than others. When tested, our emotions run on high, our decisions impulsive, and our patience very thin. The question is, are we effectively navigating and managing our challenges?

“Stress” carries a big load and his trunk is filled (yea, intended again) and he is marching right towards you.

Stress generally comes in two different forms. There is that which we can’t do anything about. Some say death and taxes. I’ll add the decisions made or not made by others. Unless you’re making their mouth move with your hand or you’re a marionette, you can’t control what others say and or do.

Equally, there is self imposed stress. That is the stress we put upon ourselves by the decisions that we make or don’t make each and everyday. And, if we weren’t stressed enough by those decisions, we like to compound it by continually second guessing it.

So, we have a choice. Better manage stress, or let it consume us.

Firstly and most importantly, put things in perspective. Try to understand what is really important, and what is not. Are you the one I saw yelling at the grocery store clerk because the item was mispriced, even after she apologized? Or was that you screaming at the fast food cashier because you specifically asked for no onions, and damn it if they didn’t put onions on it.

Would you be humiliated by your behavior if they played the store video tape back and you were able to watch yourself on TV? Of course you would.

Is there one specific, yet simple tactic to modify our behavior? I don’t think so but, personally, I like to apply the ten second rule. I try to give myself ten seconds before I act or react. Let me get this out of the way right now, I can’t always do it. It’s not easy.

Ask yourself:

• What are the consequences (good or bad) of my decision?
• Will my actions cause unnecessary emotional strife?
• How will the other party(s) perceive my decision?

And maybe most importantly,

• Will I end up regretting my actions?

No, you can’t change other people. You can’t tell them how to react or how to interpret you. What you can do however is to be cognizant of their feelings and act or react in a manner which is well thought out and respectful. After you have done that, move on.

I remember reading a book many years ago and my apologies to the author for forgetting his name or even the title, where he quoted a story about General Dwight David Eisenhower. It seems that Eisenhower was asked how he was emotionally able to send thousands and thousands of troops off into battle clearly knowing that many of them would not return. Surely each of them had parents, many with siblings and children and that burden had to unbearable for him.

Eisenhower responded simply by saying “I sit down and analyze all the facts available to me at the time, make my decision, and most importantly I never look back”.

Don’t stress yourself out by over thinking and over analyzing situations. Make your decisions based on facts rather than emotion. Remember; don’t waste precious time and energy revisiting your decision.

Many stressful circumstances are indeed just that, because we have turned them into stressful circumstances. Learn to digest, analyze, and then react, rather than the other way around.

Just tighten a few of those loose screws (yea, did it again) and know that with just a little adjustment you can effectively manage any situation.

Championing Economic Change…Taking the lead

Recently a national business syndication which publishes numerous individual state versions of its newsletter sent me an e-mail. They asked me to provide them with as many stories I had about current homeowners and how their mortgages caused them undue hardship leading to a forced short sale or pending foreclosure. As you might imagine, I sent them back an e-mail stipulating that I would do no such thing. While I had and continue to have concerns about my industry and its perception, I would be no source for media propaganda taking shots at our industry as a whole. I would not allow them to lump all of my peers into money grubbing thieves tearing at the flesh of ignorant consumers.

Of course we have and continue to have issues, some of which we are indeed personally responsible for. Yes, for that, we must accept culpability. The good news is that we have corrected many and must continue to work hard to correct those that remain.

I have been disappointed for a while now that many continue to blame our industry specifically, as the cause of our country’s economic hardship. I understand the rational, and clearly numbers and statistics don’t lie. I just fail to comprehend why many in the media still can’t move forward and begin to demonstrate the same passion about what we are doing to address these issues and the pro-active positions brokers, lenders and secondary giants like Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac are doing to aid in our country’s recovery.

No offense intended, but consumers believe what they hear on the radio, watch on television, or read in the newspaper. Generally most of you don’t read national statistical publication and interpret facts. That is what you tend to rely on the media for. It means that if we are in deed on the road to recovery, the media must help to champion the cause. It is time to forget the old misconceptions that “bad news sells”, or that the “media is just a reporting service and not itself a newsmaker” and become a positive beacon to the general public.

So therefore, I call on each of you. I call on my peers and you the American consumer to take a giant step forward and speak up for a positive direction and a positive outcome. If we don’t become uniform in our actions, new purchasers will continue to hold off making decisions on housing. There will be no move up transactions, losses will continue and values will continue to decline and people will continue to blame the mortgage industry thus continuing our downward spiral. It’s just that simple.

My head is not in the sand. Yes, I understand that thousands of jobs have been lost over the past two years. I do know that foreclosure losses at an all time high. And yes, tighter regulations on lending remain. However, is it the entire nightmare that it appears to be?

Or maybe, just maybe is it the cleansing the industry needed? We have added licensing, new regulations and better disclosures that have been sorely lacking in our industry for far too long. We in the industry are finally establishing some accountability and culpability that will better inform and protect consumers.

People ask me daily “are things really that bad?” and I tell them yes and no. Statistics don’t lie. Job losses and foreclosures published are real. The state of the economy in most states is not good and a quick turn-a-round does not appear on the immediate horizon. With many state’s heavy reliance on the automotive industry and its suppliers, the market will continue to struggle along. Consolidation and concessions will need to continue until the economy of scale, when it relates to compensation, becomes more realistic. The value in education and encouraging our kids to secure college degrees must once again be rewarded in how they are compensated.

The good news, I believe, is that good things are starting to happen. I think economic recovery is just around the corner. As we continue down this road, wages will, as a necessary evil, begin to better reflect job status. I pass no individual judgment on the salaries we pay our workers, however once this happens, the mass exodus of our young college educated students entering the work force will begin to reconsider staying home in light of better compensation elsewhere. Our costs of living will also better reflect individual state’s economic situations and their population will be able to continue to maintain their current lifestyle despite modification to their wages.

Many states current economies and the current exodus from those states have obviously created an influx of available properties. This in turn has caused a stagnation of market values in most communities and caused an actual depreciation of value in others. While this for many is a challenge, values across the country today remain higher than property values of five to seven years ago when they purchased the property.

While most read of the horror of the current market, practical thinking and realistic expectation dictates that there is still profit taking available and many great bargains for new homes.

As I stated earlier, it is very easy to place blame. It is also very easy to blame the loss of jobs and careless consumer spending as the reason for so many homes lost however there are many components that need to be analyzed.

We can talk about our industry short comings, we can discuss the media’s choice of reporting, and we can challenge the government’s tactics in aiding this recovery. However, we must also remember that ignorance on behalf of the consumer is not bliss. Many consumers made poor uniformed decisions. Just because a lender can do something for them, doesn’t mean that it is the best and wisest decision. I know it is an overused cliché however I recall something about “just because someone jumped off a bridge”. Honestly, given the common sense we are supposed to posses, since when did taking out a second mortgage to 100% or 125% of the value of a home becomes a good idea?

In my home state of Michigan, only about 10% of our loan officers remain gainfully employed that were writing loans in 2007. It is time to find a trusted mortgage professional.

To my peers, we must assume more responsibility in working with our clients. We need to educate them that establishing an important business relationship is tantamount to any successful endeavor. Consumers need to understand that without knowing the background of a particular lender, making a choice by asking “what are your rates and costs?” is often a recipe for disaster.

Despite all the doom and gloom, I don’t believe that things are all that bad. I am a glass half full kind of guy. I feel deeply for those who have had unmentionable misfortune; however they will recover as will our industry and our economy. We can continue to wallow in our misery, if we choose to, or we can help to champion a recovery.

I hope my media friends as well jump on the proverbial “band-wagon” and also find the wherewithal to champion our cause.

And to you my friends, the message is “remain consistent yet prudent and realistic in your financial decisions. Understand your goals and objectives. Take the time to build a relationship with a lender who demonstrates a commitment to your short and long term goals and the experience to back it up”. That very posture, in addition to this industry cleansing, will help to alleviate many of the ‘bad actors” that have contributed to this mess.

Come jump aboard, this train is leaving the station.

Do You Take The Time To Reflect?

As much as I hate to admit it, while the weather was mostly pleasant this past weekend, the mornings and evenings were filled with crisp air and a reminder that fall is on the way. Along with fall comes the start of many holidays celebrated throughout the world. Many festive traditions are celebrated uniformly in all countries, while others may be unique to a specific culture or country. Family time, an opportunity to take a few days off from work, no school for the kids…all things most of us look forward to all year long.

This past Friday night had special significance to me, my family and many of my friends. It is arguably for us one of the most important and significant times of the year for families who follow the laws and traditions of the Jewish people.

Let me preface that this is not a blog about Judaism as much as it is about all of our individual sense of responsibility, priorities, and desire to make us better children, spouse, siblings, parents and friends. Whatever you’re personal belief and I respect ones right to believe, I hope you keep reading to understand my message

Having been born a Jewish American, I am often asked about this time of year. Quite a few of my very close friends are not Jewish and don’t really understand what either Rosh Hashanah (commonly referred to as the Jewish New Year) or Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement) stand for or why they are such important dates to Jews across the world.

Let me say to those who do understand their significance, the traditional Hebrew greetings of Shana Tova (a good year) or Shana Tova Ummetukah (a good and sweet year). You see, unlike the American calendar, the Jewish New Year falls on the first day of Tishrei, the seventh month of the Hebrew calendar, as noted in the Torah. This usually occurs sometime in the fall between early September and October on the American calendar.

Rosh Hashanah is followed by Asseret Yemei Teshuva or the (Ten Days of Repentance) which are days specifically set aside to focus on repentance that conclude with the holiday of Yom Kippur. It is believed by Jews that they are being judged by God for the coming year, hence some may say “may you be written and sealed for a good year” (ketiva ve-chatima tovah).

Yes, Jews believe that each person’s fate is determined for the coming year. On Rosh Hashanah the “book” of one’s life is opened and subsequently on Yom Kippur it is closed to “seal” the verdict. During the Ten days of Repentance, a Jew tries to amend his or her behavior and seek forgiveness for wrongs done against God and against other human beings. The evening prior and day of Yom Kippur are usually set aside for public and private petitions and confessions. At the end of Yom Kippur, one hopes that one’s self is absolved by God.

Yom Kippur is recognized as the most solemn and important of the Jewish holidays. Since it revolves around the ideals of atonement and repentance, Jews traditionally observe this holy day with a 25-hour period of fasting and intensive prayer, often spending most of the day in temple or synagogue services.

I bring this up now, not just because of those who were seeking knowledge from me about Judaism, but also to acknowledge that now is a wonderful time for reflection, no matter what your beliefs may be. If I asked you to be honest with yourself for a moment, when was the last time you actually sat back and reflected over some period of your life?

It doesn’t have to be over a lifetime or even a yearly analysis. It doesn’t have to be over any specific time frame if you chose not for it not to be. It should, however offer you enough insight into doing just a little self analysis to help you determine if you are in deed the person you wanted to be. There are so many things that you can ask yourself. Certainly way too many for me to mention here, but lets try just a few.

Have you become the one who is respected and admired to a level that you had hoped to attain? Do the people in your life such as your family, friends, and fellow employees speak well of you? Have you earned the admiration of your children? Have you been a positive and involved parent setting for them a future guided by an excellent role model?

Have you been a loyal and supporting spouse enriching their lives and helping to make them a better person? Do they stand taller because of you?

The single best part about reflection is that it allows you the opportunity to adjust, alter, or apologize if necessary. The greatest element in life is that we live today and not yesterday. We live in the moment.

Any malice or ill will, whether intended or not, can always be rectified. Words and actions are exactly that, words and actions. Missed opportunities, or poor decisions are just that as well. They may be something that we have done and regret, but they do not define who we are.

Take some time in the very near future to be just a little reflective and seek out the opportunities that you would like to apologize or improve on. It’s guaranteed to make at least two people smile.

Okay, I am a Detroit Lions fan, so shoot me…

New Detroit Lions head coach Jim Schwartz is in an incredible position. If he wins one game this year, after an 0-16 record last year, he will have improved his team’s performance to a level not yet ever seen in professional football. We can debate by mathematical formula whether that increase is 100% or it’s indeterminate. I’ll leave that up to those who think they know…besides it’s not the point of my post today…

Instead, let’s talk about what can turn this organization around. Like many of your companies, the organization has an Owner, President, General Manager or Managers, Coach(es), and employees or teammates. It doesn’t matter where you sit on the totem pole, the question is, are you taking ownership of your responsibilities?

Many have called for years for the head of team owner William Clay Ford Sr. While the team has qualified for the playoffs only nine times in the more than 50 years since winning the 1957 championship and has won only one playoff game in that span, many blame Ford who took controlling interest in 1963 for its ongoing ineptitude.

Ford has changed coaches more often than the turnover at your local McDonalds. He has hired tightfisted General Managers; player orientated ones and even one who excelled on the playing field, believing that he could be a solid judge of talent. He has never been gun shy about spending money for those he has been told have talent and when he appears in public, professes a winning desire.

He wants to succeed and even at times attempts to will his team success, yet he doesn’t. In the meantime, his arch rival Mike Ilitch, Little Caesar pizza mogul, and owner of the Detroit Tigers and the Detroit Red Wings has achieved a fairly high level of success. Like Ford he is not afraid to spend money and take risks. So you say, what is the difference?

I’ll argue that what sets them apart is their ability to hire and surround themselves with people who share their vision and mission. People who not only are willing to roll their shirt sleeves up, and there are many of those, but people who are experts in their particular field. The best of the best.

As the leader in your organization, the greatest asset you can provide may be to hire someone who in fact just might be smarter than you. We tend to see them through narrow glasses as a risk or a threat to our individual futures rather than an asset to the organization we are trying to construct. You really don’t hear too often about the President of a company being fired because under his direction and due to the people that he personally hired, generated too much profit or success.

This same measurement applies at all levels and must be equally applied from the top of the organizational structure all the way down to the lowest rung on the ladder.

A General Manager supplies no value to the President of his company if he does not take the advice of those that he has hired to support his effort. He has hired these people to give him the proper introspective to make an educated decision. If he fails to hire the right people with the appropriate level of skill because he may see them as a risk, and thus make his own decisions, he puts the whole company at risk.

Your coach or team leader relies on the performance and the expectations of his employees. You have been given your job because someone believed in your talent. You are being counted on to meet the expectations placed upon on you to support your fellow employees in the designated task, and to appropriately earn the recognition and praise of your superior for performing at an optimum level. It is not necessarily always exceeding expectations that matter, but at the very least achieving the goals and objectives that you are being counted on to meet.

Of course the Detroit Lions have a very long way to go. Any company undergoing a complete re-organization won’t turn things around over night. I for one however, believe that for the first time in a very long time, everyone on the organization is on the same page. I like their new management team and their clear cut vision for the future. They are not compromising on ways to achieve both their short and long term goals and demonstrate to each other the appropriate level of respect.

Wherever you sit on the corporate ladder within your company, ask yourself if you are performing at an optimum level. Are you meeting or exceeding the expectations that your superiors’ have of you? Have you surrounded yourself with team players who share your vision and mission for success? Do they have the talent necessary to instill positive growth?

Consumers Are Paying the Price…

Wow, has mortgage banking been a challenge this year. Mortgage Brokers continue to take the heat for our nations collapse as new and ongoing legislation, while attempting to protect consumer’s interests, continues to in one way or another punish consumers, more than it does reprimand bad actors in the mortgage industry.

The good news is that all of us, that is you too, have an opportunity to correct one of those very challenges.

The Home Valuation Code of Conduct (HVCC) was established earlier this year after the backing and promotion of New York Attorney General Mario Cuomo’s investigation into mortgage fraud in his state. While there is no debating the issue at hand, nor his intent to address it, the solution was poorly thought out. In turn, it has done nothing to alleviate the problem and in many ways has increased mortgage costs to consumers

Recently the House of Representatives constructed H.R.3044 which calls for an 18 month moratorium of the Home Valuation Code of Conduct (HVCC). Now that the members of Congress are back in session, it is imperative that you help to support this action. Whether you are in our industry or a concerned consumer, call your Congressman today and ask them to cosponsor H.R. 3044 and attach the bill as an amendment to any legislation currently moving through the House of Representatives.

I know you may be thinking I can stop reading now, and this really doesn’t concern me, however, you should concern yourself because:

The National Association of Mortgage Brokers conservatively estimates that the HVCC will cost you, the consumer, over 2.8 BILLION dollars a year in extra fees, created by long delays (extended lock-in fees) and higher appraisal costs.

Appraisal Management Companies (AMCs) are driving honest appraisers and mortgage brokers from business, eliminating competition, increasing costs to consumers and reducing revenue. The HVCC is causing significant delays in real estate transactions, hurting real estate agents, title companies and other third parties reliant on turnaround time.

Additionally and arguably, HVCC does nothing to reduce fraud, as it legitimizes the same failed model, which was the subject of Attorney General Cuomo’s investigation.

As a consumer you are also now “trapped” with a specific lender. If a better deal becomes available with a different lender, the consumer is forced to pay for another appraisal as the original appraisal is no longer transferable.

This lack of portability, regardless of the reason will force borrowers to pay for another appraisal and wait for a new appraiser to be assigned and complete it. This will increase the total cost and time needed for obtaining a home. Delays in turnaround times could also cause you the borrower to miss rate lock deadlines and possibly face penalties charged by the lender or home seller.

Additionally, the quality of appraisals can now be challenged. In some circumstances, AMC’s are assigning appraisers from a different municipality, county, or even state to appraise your home, therefore unfamiliar with the neighborhood and unable to produce an accurate appraisal.

Many also argue that Appraisal Management Companies are looking to be profit centers as well paying many appraisers lower fees, thus resulting in the assigned appraisers, willing to do the work, often being inexperienced and failing to adequately appraise your home.

Additionally, administrative costs for the AMC’s are also passed on to you the consumer resulting in increased fees, in many cases ranging from $50-$150 more per appraisal.

Studies by The National Association of Mortgage Brokers have indicated that these issues, coupled with the drastically increased appraisal turnaround times that impose extended lock periods, are now costing consumers an estimated additional $711.95 per transaction.

Are there problems in the mortgage banking industry? Without a doubt. Do changes need to be made? Yes, of course. Let’s just make sure that we address these issues by doing the proper due diligence so that our solutions benefit, not punish you the consumer. If you want change, you need to speak up along with those of us in the industry fighting diligently for our rights to deliver to you fair, honest and competitive products and services.